Fallen.

March 22nd, 2013

Oh,

crap.

I didn’t realise until 1 something AM that I forgot to sell my books. [Today] is Friday, which is the last day to sell them (at school), and I don’t feel like interacting with humans in public. Fudgesicles.

I guess I’m keeping them for now. Yay to fiction novels and political science text books.

21 March 2013, 3:43 AM - Friendship

is unfortunately a topic I always consider in my life. Damn insecurities.

I find it unfortunate because I figure it should be simple and clear cut - either you’re friends and regularly keep in touch, or you guys now sit in the position of ‘acquaintance’. See? Simple.

But no, not really. Damn.

From there, I have to consider the people who I would like to consider friends, but we’re so busy for each other that we don’t talk. I normally think that’s acquaintance-territory, yet when we get together, there’s no awkward ‘oh, hey, we haven’t seen each other in awhile and i don’t know if you’ve changed much’ vibe. If it is there, we move pass that. Like big kids.

Then I have some friends, who say that we’re super close (or whatever the label is), but don’t respond when I text/ call them, don’t initiate any form of contact, or don’t follow through with plans made. I (insecurely) end up thinking that this is a hint that the people no longer want to be friends with me, but if there’s a label of closeness, why would this be the case? I guess it just doesn’t make sense, no matter how busy. At the very least, respond and blatantly reject me - don’t ignore me/ create plans and cancel last minute. Mean.

-sigh-. i wish i could stop over-analyzing this, but I’m someone who will throw something away if I no longer find use for it. This meaning I don’t want to waste my time on friends who might no longer be within friend-territory, no matter how close we once were.

Maybe I just miss my friends.

September 28th, 2012

I love how

it’s not even the first week of school and already my right foot, lower back, shoulders, and legs are sore.

Talk about out of shape.

June 30th, 2012

30 June 2012, 1:44 AM (hand-written)

Sometimes, I feel a little bit at peace with the friends who didn’t give a shit about my feelings - about whether or not I matter.

It helps me appreciate the friends who actually care. Sure, a simple text message invitation make look like a small gesture, but it’s a fantastic one. To have a person take time to shoot you a personal message, inviting you to his or her event is lovely - especially when it’s more convenient to send an online invite instead.

To my friends (that won’t read this) who care, thank you. To the friends who didn’t, you also have my thanks. It’s allowed me to appreciate the little things in life, and the few wonderful friends that I have.

April 13th, 2012